some random question in mind and i cant slp...

Do u really love me?
Do u really need me in ur life?
Do u really treat me like someone special?
Will u ever hurt me?
Will u be like those gal's who have hurt my feelings?
Will u give me all ur love and concern?
Will u help me forget bout my past?
Will be a better gal then my ex?
Will we ever be together?
Will i get to see u again?
Can i not be ur friend?
Can i be ur guardian angel?

haix....i hope there is an answer to it...

this is hw i feel abt her

This is the part where i've to be strong and true to my self...i cant lie to my self any more...i hope before she reads this i want to tell her every thing face to face.i did nt get to do it yesterday coz she when hm early...so nw i tell u ppl why she is so special to me...first of all when i first met her on 16 jan 10,my heart tell me smth....tat she was gonna be different from my ex's,but then i tell my self get to know her better....so day by day when i know her better and when my heart has been heal from the stab tat i get from all my ex's.i fell for her.u just imagine...for 12 times in ur life u have been stab wth a knife at ur heart,hw does it feel?hurt? Yes it's very hurt in deed for me....but today my heart have been open back to give love and my self a second chance...she have open my heart coz for me she is the key to every thing in my life...i dont know but i'm gonna say this...i love her so much even every where i go or every second in my life i will always think of her.she is very beautiful,cute and adorable for me....she is a gd person in deed...she also have quit smoking....i dont know why i was so happy when she stop smoking,i guess i love her too much and want the very best for herself....i dont know if she feel the way hw i feel rite nw?

i just hope tat she will be my girl,wife and everything for me.i really3 do love her....but does she love me?i'm nt sure...maybe she just regard me as her bestfren or brother.hmm...it's ok i'm use to it already....and some of the fact is tat i'm nt handsome,i'm ugly,my body are nt nice they are fats,i'm just a simple guy and many more.much2 butter than herself?today...i hope she gonna be my girl friend if we met again...and i hope tat she gave her self a second chance to love a guy.and if i did nt get what i want.it's ok.i already know the answer.i will still be ur bestfren k...=) coz i like to see her smile,she is really2 gd in person and personality...until here my story wth her...gd nyte and sweets dreams...nw is already 2.18 a.m in the morning and my eyes are still red...nvm i'm gonna slp nw...bubye i will update soon...

today 22 Jan 10

today is where i'm nw at hm sitting on my bed matress and type all abt what she and i have done for the past few day..it's was a summery of what we have done....i hope to see her again today....i just dont know why...i like too...

21 Jan 10

Yesterday,was nt a so gd day for her.she had a diarrhea which in mly was sakit perut...i wanted to sent her to the polyclinic but she dont want to...so i cant force her...and abt 2 plus she went to her sis bf hse to see cats coz she and her sis love cat so much...so they are hot,cute and adorable and she is...hehe...i met her after solat asar and i met her at the top floor of her blk...we played the paper plane again until the paper was gone...so we just take a sit to rest and there where i tickles her and make her feel 'geli' in mly....she was so cute when she feel geli...hehe...hais she had to go hm after tat...feel abit sad but i'm fine wth it...coz i really understand her and i dont like to force ppl....

20 Jan 10

same thing happen,i woke on early in the morning and bath and pray and then i go out and buy for her nasi lemak where she told me tat it was her favorite same like mine....she like chicken and i like it too...so i come and fetch her from hm to send her to sch...i hope she really like the nasi lemak i bought for her...and than at night we go out again...this time round we go and buy the shampoo and daun sup....and we headed back to her hse...as we walk back hm, we decided to make an paper plane and test drive it at the top floor of her block..and it was so nice...i gave her my ring and rantai hehe...i gave ot to her so tat she can remember me when i was in camp....n i told her if she still miss me...look at the moon coz i will always look at the stars....than i had to rush to bbdc to learn my driving...and i went back hm after it...

19 Jan 10

on tat day she go to sch like per normal and she went hm straight.i met her again after my practical lesson and after margrib prayer at the mosque.i accompany her study near by her block and then she want to buy shampoo coz it's getting out of stocks....but the shops were close by then...so i send her hm....

On 18 Jan 10

The next day after 17 Jan....i wake up ard 6.10 in the morning.i bath quickly and get ready for my jogging attire. so i get of from hse as quickly as possible and jog to her hse early in the morning...as usually i reach there early and have to wait for her...it's ok for me to wait for a girl than the girl waited for a guy....i just dont feel like it...so i send her to sch tat morning and i went for my morning exercise...and than i pick her up after sch and sent her hm....

On 17 Jan 10

On this day,it was my turn to ask her out,so we plan where to meet at first,and we decide to meet at lakeside mrt,as i arrive there,she was nt there yet.so we decide to meet each other again at lake park.so we walk down the park again and she was tired wth the walking.so we staop for awhile and soon we continue to walk again coz it's hot sitting there. as we walk down the park we saw an icecream uncle hehe...selling ice cream of coz.like the...hehe.than i treat her ice cream...than we continue our way down the park.the park was so long and big...so it's take's us 1 hr to walk from 1 end to another end....as we reach the skate park,my ice have gone and i get to know tat she scared of a dog...dont wrry most of ppl are afraid of dog some are afraid of cat.if ur afraid i'm wth u rite?hehe...so as we walk down and further down...until we reach to the end of it...so we rest at macdonals near taman jurong sheng shiong...i hope i was rite wth tat spelling...i buy two drinks one for me and one for her and we shared a twister fries....than tat was the first time where i feed her the fries useing my hand.she was so cute and adorable at tat time.my heart was like moving very fast every time i was wth her and see her face...i dont know why. so we rest for awhile until it reach abt 6 plus where we headed home....so we walk down and i told her abt my past where i was still in the kindergarden and abt the ring.i hope she remember.so we walk down to stop and take a puff....and then i send her hm...

On 16 Jan 10

This is the day where i first met her.i get to know her from face book (fb).she really recognise me well coz my my name tag...she make friend wth me on msn.than we chat2 and exchange numbers.from there we contacted each other and go out on this day.i think she ask me out...haha lol.i'm nt sure.i just go.at first i feel so shy coz i'm nt handsome,i'm fat and ugly and i met a beautiful girl.yea she is so beautiful to me coz u have nt seen her iner personality.onces u feel it,than u will know.yup she wearing a green box colour t-shirt and black jeans...i was late for a few minites due to smth.i just for get what is it.ok let move forward,so i saw her ard 2 plus at chinese garden mrt station,she was sitting down while waiting for me.i was wearing black shirt and jeans.so i walk from my hse to the station which takes me abt 15 mins to reach.so i was ("haus" in mly) than i buy 2 drink one for me and 1 for her.so we walk down to the park called chinese garden.as we walk down the park,the rain started to drizzle,so we play a guessing game.hw long does it's takes to stop,she guess 1 hrs or more. i guess 30 mins or less...so when it drizzle we stop by a hut which i called it a shelter.so we sat down and chit-chat,and the rain stop abt 15mins and we dicided to take a rest and talk and talk for few hrs.when i dont know what to do,i teach her hw to make a paper plane useing a japanese model...i forget what it's name. so we test-drive the plane if it;s wrks or nt....so we play2 for 1 hrs until we are tired...hehe...than there was where i carry her on my back.at first she was nervous,but then i ask her to calm down,coz i promise her nothing will happen.so i carry her a cross a long bridge in chinese garden.and i put her down after i've cross it.then i have to go to the toilet to make small business...hehe..than after tat we continue to walk ard the park.and as we walk we enter another park called japanese garden,it's was a big and beautiful place which i rarely go in and take a look.she was expert in tat place coz she use to go there to feed the turtle and fishes,hw nice can she be?she was all alone.at that time,n suddently came to my mind is tat if i know her early i will go wth her and feed the turtle and fish.i wont let her be alone any more.so we rest at the park and talk2 abt our self...like get to know session...haha.then as we walk again the sky are getting dark and we went to a twin tower very small and cute...so we go to 1 of the tower and go to the top of it...when i've arrive at the top i was so happy tat the place and the view was so beautiful and it's make my mind and heart at peace...so we talk2 and smth happen all i can say is tat 5-1 hehe....so i fast forward.until a man come and says tat it's has been close so we walk back hm.she wanted to see her frens but then i told her tat i will be a bad idea coz it's already late at night.so i send her under her void deck and i rush to go hm...i took cab hm...and the end...hehe.i hope u understand.my english sucks too k...

Abt me...

This blog, i've created is for someone really special to me...hw special it's u will find out soon.

ok.so i'm just a normal guy,with normal personality,nothing really special abt me,i'm just like other guys out there.but i'm fat,ugly,nt handsome all the bad thing is on me...i just dont know why,i like to look down on my self.i'm a person tat is really bored,so u dont have to make fren wth me k.hehe.my last nick was maxswat, coz last time i watch this movie called s.w.a.t so i want to be 1 of them.i've been hurt 12 times... by love and my heart for love is close.so i create this blog is abt some1 tat i really care,love and special to me.but i'm nt sure if she does feel the same towards me too...nvm...